My friends know that I love movies. I think there is something so moving about witnessing a story that you can relate to even if the characters live in a galaxy far, far away. Or go to wizarding school. Or live in a different century. It’s pure magic.
However, I’ve always been a little envious of these fictional characters. I wanted a life as exciting and full of splendor as Princess Leia. Hermione Granger. Jo March. Through each of my favorite movies, the characters always inspire as they grow in their knowledge and character.
“But that’s unrealistic,” I thought. “Their character traits, intense emotions, and magnificent moments are exaggerated for the silver screen”. I believed my life would pale in comparison to the wild, adventure-filled lives of my favorite heroes and heroines.
But I’ve turned the corner. I’ve had an epiphany that just might have changed the trajectory of my life’s plot. I’m the heroine in my own story. And everyday contains remarkable moments deserving of a scene in my movie.
If you would have met me a year ago, you would have met a totally different Gracie. At the time, everything around me was bleak. The strain and pressure of a high school environment, along with the normal teenage angst that pairs with any coming of age journey resulted in a girl who was a shell of herself. But you would have never known it.
On the outside, I looked perfectly put together. I made great grades. I was involved. I had teachers practically begging to write my recommendations. I had plenty of people around me that I would have called “friends”. However even with a seemingly good life, I would have never in a million years compared my own experiences, my own situations with those in a movie.
Wearing the smile I’d gotten so good at faking, I played the part that I thought people expected me to play, and then I’d come home exhausted. I would cry. I would sleep. I completely checked out because in my world, there wasn’t anything that motivated me to find the beautiful moments that arise among the normal and scheduled.
Coming to college completely changed that for me. The combination of a new start and increased freedom was the key. Because being a student at a university away from your parents means that you are not forced to do anything, everything I accomplished felt like a victory that was mine to claim. When I got up to go to church on Sunday mornings, that was my choice. When I made new friends, they became my investments. When I did homework, it stemmed from my pure desire to learn. For the first time in my entire life, I started to observe the beauty in doing things for yourself and your own growth. My shift away from pleasing others to my focus on living in every moment was a game changer.
So, why CR? From the moment I heard Dr. P speak about it last year, I knew I wanted to have a piece of that adventure. I remember telling my mom that the reason the experience intrigued me so much was because “it sounded like something that would happen in a movie” which is ironic considering my new attitude toward my everyday interactions and personal progress.
At that point, even though I walked through my days like a zombie, without direction and without hope, I knew that I wanted to learn lessons, challenge myself, and do things that no one would dream of me doing. Learning about CR was one of my first glimpses into what could be. A way to taste what the world had to offer.
The night I found out about CR, I, of course, jumped around, screamed, did a happy dance and had the freak-out that comes with intense excitement. But, I also cried. I sat in my room and cried tears of joy thinking about how much can change in a year. How life is so messy and fun and hard and most of all magical. I am grateful. I really am truly filled with the most overwhelming sense of gratitude I’ve ever felt and it’s all because I’ve learned not to rely upon my monumental successes as a basis for my contentment. There is something to be taken out of every little interaction, experience, and trial that you face day to day. I now savor the moments I catch eyes with a friend across the room. The moments where I walk across a campus with beams of sunshine stippling the sidewalk. The moments I sit late at night with friends and ponder life and our bright futures. It all matters. Just like in cinematography, the details are what differentiate a good movie from a great one.
The fact that I’m leaving the country (for the first time ever) in a short 81 days to go on the experience that when I heard about it, challenged my belief that real life is far less grand than in the movies, will go down in my story forever. I cannot wait to be pushed, questioned, and loved by the other 17 that I’ll travel with. From this experience, I want to come away with moments, (perhaps conversations, realizations, or adventures) that when I look back, I’ll be able to say were pivotal scenes in the movie of my life. I don’t know what I’m going to experience abroad. I don’t know how I’ll be changed and shaped and molded into a better version of myself, but the one thing that I expect from CR is wisdom. Intelligence comes in many forms apart from just knowing facts, so through the blogs I want to see myself growing intellectually and in sagacity. Hopefully, through my documentation, I’ll be able to see my eyes opened through all that I go through abroad, and just like in a movie, I will be able to watch how magical life can be.
(Okay, if you’re at the end, goodness gracious I’m impressed you made it this far. But since I went on and on about movies, I thought I’d share my favorites just in case you were wondering:) This is by no means a complete list either, it’s just the ones I could think of off the top of my head)
- What’s Up Doc (Barbra Streisand)
- Some Like it Hot
- Fletch
- La La Land
- You’ve Got Mail
- National Treasure
- Any Mission Impossible
- Any Harry Potter
- The River Wild
- O Brother Where Art Thou
- Midnight in Paris
Cultural Routes 12 