This question has haunted me for such a long time. How can one truly capture the essence of a person in words? I know Dr. Pitcock has certainly tried to do this in his secret book containing observances of CR members – the good, bad, and ugly – and has probably gotten a better grasp of my being than I have in my 19 years of living with myself.
When I call home to tell my mom how much I am loving my experience at TCU, she always asks me what my friends are like. I am always stumped by this question because whatever I say in that conversation will never do my friends’ amazing personalities justice. What better way to get to know somebody than to sit down and have a real conversation? How can I relay the experience of a conversation over the phone?
Personality is something that has always frustrated me as a Math major. I always want to confine someone to a box in their personality – try to find something to quantify. I want there to be a definitive “right” answer that can tell me who they are in every situation, leading me to hang on to enneagram numbers and Myers-Briggs letters even when I know that those can be horrendously inaccurate.
So this brings up the question of how I should go about portraying my personality through this blog. I could tell you I am a 5 on the enneagram and an ISFP for Myers-Briggs, but does that really tell you who I am? And better yet, how can I reliably tell you who I am when that is still a question I am struggling with?
I have always believed in the saying that actions speak louder than words. All humans are subject to hypocrisy. Therefore, instead of relying on words to fill me in on who they are, I like to watch what they choose to do. So I have chosen to let my actions speak for themselves.
First action: I applied to Cultural Routes (CR).
This is the snowball that started this avalanche of events. I saw an opportunity to go to Europe and jumped at it, but quickly began to realize that this application was for much more than just a fun hangout abroad. Hearing stories from Cultural Routes alumni, I began to realize just how perfect this opportunity was for me. I was making friends in my first semester at college, but many of them were surface level connections that left me wanting more. Not just the stories, but the way the Cultural Routes groups interacted made it obvious that this experience created true life-long bonds. But there is more than just the friendships. The chance to be in a whole new environment and see myself make big decisions on my own would teach me more about myself than anything else. Obviously, I applied and somehow received an acceptance.
Second action: I signed up for Cultural Memory.
My brother had told me how incredible it was to be taught by Dr. Pitcock, so I figured what better time to make a bad first impression than by signing up for his class the semester before I spend a month with him in Europe. More than just letting him get to know me better, I wanted to get a taste of what I could expect for CR. I prefer to process things at a slower pace – not because I am less intelligent, but rather because I like to put a lot of thought into my decisions. This semester in class could help me process the vigorous personality of Dr. Pitcock before I was completely submerged in it while also trying to process my culture shock. Currently as we are flying through book after book and beginning to write papers, I realize this is not the slow paced class that would make me feel comfortable, but it is the push out of my comfort zone that would best prepare me for this summer.
Third action: I sent in an acceptance reaction video.
This might not seem like a big deal, but I definitely overthought it way too much and sent in a video that makes Matty Smokes seem like the next Spielberg. However, this video was not something that meshed with my personality. Because I take time to process, I don’t show a lot of extreme, immediate, outward emotion. This doesn’t mean I wasn’t excited. I was elated. It just takes me a little bit to process how I really feel, and then the emotion makes its way out gradually over time. So when I sent the video in, I was still drawing out the pure joy. My video was probably not what Dr. Pitcock was hoping to get to show at next year’s Chancellor’s Scholars Weekend, but I felt like it was true to my personality.
Now my action is writing this blog. All the choices that went into form, structure, word choice, syntax – purely me. Maybe this action is the most revealing of all. I know that this blog will add a few more comments to my section in Dr. Pitcock’s secret book (hopefully full of good things but I know better than to expect that), but even more important I hope it gives an idea of who I am to the people who haven’t been observing me since I arrived on campus, giving a clue as to the content that will appear on this blog. Ultimately, I’m ecstatic about the opportunity to explore Europe and the inner workings of my own personality.
Cultural Routes 12 